This is the eleventh post in the “Battle for Your Mind” series. Click here to view the previous post.
The Battle for Your Habits
Breaking the Bondage to Habitual Sins – Part II
“A bad habit is like a comfortable bed – easy to get into but hard to get out of.”
I wish I would have come up with that little quote myself, but I heard it somewhere else. However, it is very true, as I’m sure you would agree.
In the previous section, we looked at the first two steps that assist us in breaking sinful habits:
1. Realize what you are doing (evaluate yourself)
2. Remember who you are in Christ
But what do we do next?
The answer is provided for us in the book of Psalms.
Order my steps in thy word: and let not any iniquity have dominion over me. (Psalms 119:133)
The way to break free from the control of a sinful habit is to order your steps according to God’s command.
The third step is simply this: learn to replace the desire to do your sinful habits with something that is right.
For sake of our running outline, let’s put it this way:
Step 3: Replace negative habits with positive ones
You will become like the object of your focus. If you channel all of your energy into the removal of your habit, you will become obsessed by it. Instead, just try to replace it with something better. Focus your attention on “things above” rather than on “things of the earth” (Colossians 3:2). Then you will begin to find its hold on your life loosening.
As I pointed out in the previous section, we have an incredible ability to develop habits. Why not harness this ability and use it in our favor?
Just as you can easily develop the habit to do wrong, you can also develop the habit to do right. This, however, will not happen automatically. You will have to put some effort into it. It will require self-control, time, and persistence.
- Developing a good habit takes self-control
I do not believe that during the six days of Creation, God had in mind that the bearers of His image would sit around in a monastery all day with a cloud of gloom hovering overhead. He built many interesting things into this world and He expects us to enjoy them. However, desire for these things must be controlled. When used within limits, God can be glorified through them. However, when these desires become our god, they are sin.
- Developing a good habit takes time
Why is it that bad habits are so easy to develop, but good habits take so much work and time?
One of the most persistent struggles that we have had as parents took place around the dining room table. And I guess it’s our own fault. When the kids were in the high chair, we were overjoyed when they were finally able to feed themselves. What freedom! We didn’t care how they did it, just so they got a little food in their mouths so we could be free to focus on our own plates. And who cares about the mess—we’ll clean it up later. We were just happy to be able to eat in peace.
The problem came when we decided it was time for the child to learn how to properly hold his fork. From the first day it had been natural just to grab it and go to town. The habit of holding the fork in a tightly closed fist was developed immediately. However, it seems to take months (yes, even years) to learn how to hold it correctly.
A good habit will not be learned overnight. You can expect it to take even longer when you are trying to replace a bad habit.
So, be patient and keep at it.
- Developing a good habit takes persistence
So far in my life I have had three cars with a manual transmission. I could drive them anywhere, and I could even start from a dead stop on a hill. However, it hasn’t always been that way.
I learned to drive a “stick shift” right after I got my driver’s license. I remember attempting to make a turn at a busy intersection and stalling the car. I was so nervous that I couldn’t get it moving again and had to get out and swap places so my teacher could get us out of the way.
The worse part about the whole thing was that my teacher was a woman. For a teenage boy, what could be worse than having the whole world see that you need a woman to drive because you can’t?
At that point, I could have succumbed to my pride and given up, feeling that it wasn’t worth it. However, I knew that the only way I was going to learn was to be persistent. Finally shifting became a habit, but I never would have succeeded if I would have given up.
Sure, you might fail at times while trying to develop your new habit, but get back up and do it again.
Does all this make sense? I hope so. If not, it might help to look at an example of how this plays out in the practical world. Take anger, for instance.
Do you ever struggle with anger? Anger can easily become a habit because we condition ourselves to respond to undesirable circumstances a certain way.
It is unfortunate that “blowing your top” has become a symbol in our society of “being a man.” The truth is actually the opposite.
He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty; and he that ruleth his spirit than he that taketh a city. (Proverbs 16:32)
You may have developed the habit of getting angry whenever something doesn’t go your way. What do you do in this case? Well, let’s try following our three steps.
Step 1 – Realize you are doing it (evaluate yourself)
Go ahead and accept the fact that you have a problem with anger and that it is wrong. If you don’t recognize it, you will never fix it.
Step 2 – Remember that Christ has given you the strength to overcome anger
As a Christian, you are “in Christ.” Sin has no more power over you. Instead of seeing yourself as a victim to anger, see anger as the victim!
Step 3 – Replace your angry response with something pleasant
Rather than acting out of angry retaliation, try to respond with something nice. It may take every ounce of energy that you have, but give it a try. Maybe you can’t think of anything to say If that is the case, I’ll share with you the advice I heard many times growing up: “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.”
Anger is one of the most difficult habits to break because every fiber of our being screams to react when something doesn’t go our way.
I have found, though, that one way to help break the anger habit is to entertain the possibility that you might not know all the answers. For example, when some maverick cuts you off in traffic, cut him a break. You never know—maybe his wife is in labor. Probably not, but maybe. Plan your response around the maybe. Make it a habit to consider the maybe and you will find that not only will your blood pressure be lower, but you will also have more friends.
Developing new habits is a lot like lifting weights. When you first begin, it is difficult. However, the longer you do it, the easier it becomes.
Why not replace your negative habits with positive ones?
Click here to view the next section, The Battle for Your Emotions: Defeating Anxiety and Depression.
